Week 15 Results

Wednesday, April 30, 2014 at 10:41:53 PM EDT

And the winner of this year’s BFLG Diet Contest is ... well, before I get to that I think that I mentioned last time that this was the worst diet contest so far. But instead of dwelling on how poorly we did, I want to point out that our winner lost a total of 16 lb (9%), and is the only one to hit his goal.

Additionally, third place finisher My Shaken Ton lost 14.6 lb (5.6%), and fourth place Jolly Anode Ogre lost 16.8 lb (6.2%). Honorable mention goes to Mad Urea Owner who lost 10.2 lb (3.7%), the only other person to lose double-digit pounds.

No mention goes to Bread Snorter, who gained 9.6 lb (5.5%).

Sure, our final weight loss of 3.4 lb (1.6%) is an all-time low, and is even worse that what I predicted a couple of weeks ago, but some people actually did lose a some of weight. They should be commended!

I’ve been thinking a lot about why this contest had turned out so poorly compared to other years. We had more people giving up much sooner. Could it have been the record-setting winter? Or is 7 years of diet contests too many for some people? Could I have been more encouraging? Or is a sustainable lifestyle of moderate exercise and healthy eating really, really hard?

Apparently, none of us clicked on the links for that One Weird Trick for Losing Belly Fat or 11 Bizarre Ways to Lose Weight.

Anyway, to finish my opening announcement, congratulations to Cher Jonc En for his well-earned win!

If you’re interested in joining us for a traditional celebratory feast, please let me know and I’ll set up a time and place.

Week 13 Results

Thursday, April 17, 2014 at 7:26:31 AM EDT

I feel I have to apologize for this year’s contest. It’s shaping up (or not) to be the worst of all the diet contests so far. With two weeks left, we’ve lost a total of 1.9% body weight, with an average of 3.96 lb per person. The previous worst year was 2012, with 2.4% loss and 5.2 lb per person.

It probably also doesn’t help that the current leader has gained 12.8 lb.

Our best year was 2007, the first year we did this. Back then we lost 4.5% and 9.44 lb per person.

I usually like to encourage the participants throughout the contest and give tips and advice. And actually, I had intended to compile information about health and dieting that I’ve accumulated over the years and provide it on-line. So much for good intentions.

With only two weeks left, only one person has hit his target—Radon Ebbs. Granted, it was only 1.6 lb, but for Radon Ebbs, who for some reason has fluctuated only ±1 lb for the past 7 years, this is actually pretty good. The only other people near their targets are Cher Jonc En (-1.4 lb) and My Shaken Ton (-5 lb).

The following losers have effectively dropped out this year: Papa Needs Elk Run, Starchiest Hen Pork, No Crook, Dang Bro Zen Rho, Hide Hen Ha, Rink Arm Fell, I Hum Barroom Vice, Nu Owns Shag Van, and Minus Slim Avatar.

Bread Snorter, Cher Jonc En, and Jolly Anode Ogre are at the top of the charts. Good luck to two of them.

So if you’re still in the contest, and actually lost weight, consider yourself one of the good ones. Keep it up for two more weeks.

Week 10 Results

Thursday, March 27, 2014 at 1:17:50 PM EDT

At 10 weeks, we’re two-thirds through our contest. Imagine a full cheesecake that’s been cut into three equal pieces, but with two of the pieces gone. Those #$@$%*^! They left you with just one piece!

While you hunt them down, be aware that we’ve had some casualties in this year’s contest. No Crook gave up a few weeks ago after a business trip. Rink Arm Fell never even made it to the first weigh-in. And I’m thinking of going on an anti-hunger strike until winter is more officially over (just to improve my layer of fat).

My inspiration is of course Bread Snorter, who has gained 9.2 lb so far to lead the diet competition. Jolly Anode Ogre is right behind after losing 22.8 lb, the most by anyone. Cher Jonc En is third after losing 11 lb. Those three are heading into the final stretch with a strong lead over the rest.

Down at the bottom are Nu Owns Shag Van, Amok Red Zinger, and Whackier Taro Owl. They may or may have not given up as well. It’s hard to tell at this point. We’ll find out in five weeks.

Just hang on until then. As long as you can avoid gaining weight like Bread Snorter, Larded Swivels, Mystic Leech Jar, Mill At Dell Clench, I Hum Barroom Vice, Jack Fry Revs Free, Nu Owns Shag Van, and Amok Red Zinger, consider yourself a winner (no, not really, but if it will make you feel better, go ahead).

Week 9 Results

Tuesday, March 18, 2014 at 8:27:59 AM EDT

The Pi Day (3/14) celebrations must have gone well for Bread Snorter (I went with Dutch apple pie this year). He gained 2.8 lb to snatch the lead from Jolly Anode Ogre. Cher Jonc En is now in third place.

Public Service Announcement: Next year will be Super Pi Day (3/14/15). Start planning for it now! Also note that Europeans can’t celebrate Pi day because they don’t have a 14th month in their metric system (03.14) or 31 days in April (31.4). The best approximation they have is in July (22/7).

Jolly Anode Ogre has lost 8.0% so far, while Bread Snorter has gained 4.7%.

The suspense is terrible. I hope it’ll last.

We’ve lost a total of 142.6 lb, not quite a 50th-percentile male. For those that have gained weight (you know who you are, but I’ll list you here for every one else to know: Bread Snorter, Larded Swivels, Mystic Leech Jar, Minus Slim Avatar, I Hum Barroom Vice, and Nu Own Shag Van), you’ve gained 7.1 lb. Our net is therefore a 135.5 lb loss.

At the bottom of our list are I Hum Barroom Vice, Nu Owns Shag Van, and Mill At Dell Clench. They seem to like it down there.

Week 8 Results

Tuesday, March 11, 2014 at 5:16:42 PM EDT

We’re a little past halfway in the diet contest, and it’s currently a four-horse race. Or maybe a gazelle, a buffalo, a penguin, and a really old tortoise race.

Jolly Anode Ogre is still in the lead with Bread Snorter still in second place. However, Meal Urge Maniac in third and Cher Jonc En in fourth have narrowed the gap with the leaders.

There are now only three people that have continuously lost weight after 8 weeks: Meal Urge Maniac, Thy Error Bites, and Zip Mercer after Jolly Anode Ogre went up from last week.

Mystic Leech Jar has been consistently above his starting weight. Bread Snorter almost accomplished the same feat, being under his starting weight only once by accident.

Jolly Anode Ogre has also lost the most weight so far—19.4 lb (7.1%), followed by My Shaken Ton at 11.6 lb (4.4%) and Cher Jonc En at 8.4 lb (4.7%).

Bread Snorter has gained the most weight with 5.4 lb (3.1%), but Larded Swivels is giving it the old college try with 4.6 lb (2.3%).

It’s worth noting here that Bread Snorter’s attempt to win the diet contest twice in a row by losing a lot of weight to win the first one, and then gaining it all back in the second one, is unprecedented. Also, no one has ever one the contest by gaining weight, so this would be an impressive accomplishment if he can do it. Whether he wants to or not is a different question.

Down at the bottom of the list are I Hum Barroom Vice, Nu Owns Shag Van, and Mill at Dell Clench, having deviated about 1 lb on average from their starting weight. Their individual weight charts are so flat they can be used as reference lines for a carpenter’s water level.

Week 4 Results

Wednesday, February 12, 2014 at 5:13:31 PM EST

I’m not sure if anyone really wants to win this contest. Meal Urge Maniac is now in first place, followed by Bread Snorter. My Shaken Ton has fallen one spot to third.

Bread Snorter’s rise is from his bonus points and gaining weight, which is a new approach for this contest (previous weight gainers had no bonus points).

Both My Shaken Ton and Jolly Anode Ogre have lost at least 10 lb. My Shaken Ton has lost the most at 10.2 lb, or 1.22 gallons of water, or 0.056 metric Canadians, depending on the daily exchange rate. In total, our net weight loss is 83.7 lb, which is 0.46 metric Canadians.

The top three weight loss by percentage are My Shaken Ton (3.9%), Jolly Anode Ogre (3.7%), and Meal Urge Maniac (3.6%).

Bread Snorter has gained the most weight at 3 lb. Five people have gained a total of 9 lb. At this point in the contest, that’s a surprisingly low number.

The bottom dwellers are Jack Fry Revs Free, Radon Ebbs, and Hick Hour Kit.

The biggest climbers this week are No Crook at 22 places, Minus Slim Avatar at 14 places, and Papa Needs Elk Run at 12 places. The biggest droppers are Amok Red Zinger at 21 places, Big Human Lap at 11 places, and both Team Fool Ambush and Mystic Leech Jar at 9 places.

I think the separation from losers and gainers this season can be also divided by those who have snowblowers, and those who have broken snowblowers.

Week 3 Results

Monday, February 3, 2014 at 10:12:35 PM EST

Jolly Anode Ogre and My Shaken Ton have surged up to take first and second place respectively. Jolly has lost 10 lb and My Shaken Ton has lost 9.4 lb. Both have also lost the most by percentage at 3.7% and 3.6%. Big Human Lap remains in 3rd place with a 7 lb loss.

There are 11 BFLGs with BMIs under 25, but there are also 11 with BMIs over 30.

Mystic Leech Jar, Radon Ebbs, and Hick Hour Kit have consistently weighed in higher than their initial weigh-in. It should be noted that Radon Ebbs has been about 170 lb ±1 lb in the previous 7 contests that he’s been in.

Anchoring the group down at the bottom are Jack Fry Revs Fee, Mad Urea Owner, and Minus Slim Avatar.

This week’s biggest climber is Amok Red Zinger, going up 20 places. Tidal Dwarves went up 13 places, and Mystic Leech Jar went up 11 places.

Rosy Biker Balm has fallen 18 places, Jack Fry Revs Fee 17 places, and Hick Hour Kit 10 places.

This week’s “Didn’t Make Escape Velocity So Came Crashing Back to Earth” award goes to Whackier Taro Owl. His graph is so epic that in the future, this award will be named after him. Ballads will be sung in his honor. He will be liked a lot in Facebook. The SyFy channel will make a movie about him for no apparent reason. With sharks on the bodies of giant snakes (“Sharkaconda”).

Week 2 Results

Monday, January 27, 2014 at 9:54:45 AM EST

Still leading after two weeks of excruciating dieting for all of us is Whackier Taro Owl. He holds a dominating lead over Rosy Biker Balm in second place, followed in third by Big Human Lap.

Whackier Taro Owl has already lost 4.7% body mass. He assures me he still has all of his limbs. Rosy Biker Balm, Jolly Anode Ogre, Big Human Lap, and Odd Mown Bat have all lost at least 2.2% body mass.

I Zap Air Car Figs jumped up 18 places, Odd Mown Bat jumped 17, and Keg Stamina went up 14 places. The big droppers are Chain Ad Lemming (-16 places), I Robe Jeep (-13 places), Mystic Leech Jar and Hick Hour Kit (-12 places).

Down at the bottom of the big list are Nervenarzt K. Sledge, No Crook, and Minus Slim Avatar. I’m sure they’re just pacing themselves for a big finish.

One of the first person that may need the Cook Rule applied to them is No Crook, who the rule is named after. This is notable because no irony is involved, only snickering.

Week 1 Results

Tuesday, January 21, 2014 at 3:33:51 PM EST

There are 33 BFLGs this year. After the first week, 5 have already gained weight. Eight BFLGs have BMIs between 18.5 and 24.9, with 5 more under 26. We’ve already lost 35.4 lb (and gained 4.3 lb).

Whackier Taro Owl is firmly in the lead after losing 5 lb after the first week (hasn’t he figured this out yet?). Bread Snorter is in second place on the virtue of his bonus points, having lost significant weight since the last contest. In third place is Rosy Biker Balm, a newcomer with no bonus points.

For those who are new, please note that you can weigh-in ±1 business day (typically Thursday, Monday) if you are out of the office on Friday.

Week 0 Results

Wednesday, January 15, 2014 1:43:18 PM EST

After the initial weigh-in, we have 27 BFLGs for this year’s contest. Four additional people have indicated that they will participate, but I haven’t received their weigh-in yet.

This year the weights vary from a low of 129.6 lb for Rosy Biker Balm to a high of 278 lb for Mad Urea Owner. Our average weight is 203.3 lb.

There are inexplicably six people in the contest with a BMI between 18.5-24.9 (normal range). I Zap Air Car Figs has the lowest BMI with 20.4, while Mad Urea Owner has the highest at 37.7.

An unprecedented 10 people have bonus points, having weighed in at a lower weight than in a previous contest. So after the initial weigh-in, our leaders are Bread Snorter, I Hum Barroom Vice, and Mill at Dell Clench.

I will (eventually) make an invitation for a weigh-in each Friday of the contest as a reminder. Good luck, and good not eating.

It’s That Time Again

Monday, December 23, 2013 10:33:33 AM EST

Eggnog, fruitcake, Plätzchen, honey-baked ham, turkey, pie, Glühwein, chestnuts roasting on open fires—all terrible, nasty things that other people make us eat during the holidays. As a service to those who survived these tortuous festivities, we will again conduct the BFLG Diet Contest, 2014 Edition.

The contest rules will be the same as in previous years. The initial weigh-in will be on Monday, January 13, 2014. The first weekly weigh-in after that will be on Friday, January 17, 2014. I know most people like to diet only for the first 2-3 weeks of this contest, but I will collect weigh-in data until Friday, April 25, 2014 (15 weeks).

The Auburn Hills North scale is still in cubicle A1016 (southeast corner) on the first floor. For Auburn Hills South, please contact Andreas Knueppel for the scale’s location.

If you know that you will be joining the contest, please let me know ahead of time so I can start filling out the worksheet.

I will have the results in two different servers this year, as people like to have up-to-date results for some reason. You can check out either site, but the first site may be updated sooner:

So until then, good luck and good eatin’. Here are the same rules as always:

http://mr-eman.myftp.org/~diet/2014/rules_2014.html

http://testdata.auto.contiwan.com/~diet/2014/rules_2014.html

(Feel freel to pass this on to others that may make you say, “dude, you need to go on a diet contest.” They’ll appreciate the sentiment.)

Rules

Monday, December 23, 2013 10:31:21 AM EST

  1. The contest will start on Monday, January 13, 2014 with the initial weigh-in, height, and weight goal. Each Friday morning after that will be a weigh-in day until Friday, April 25, 2014 (15 weeks, Easter is April 20th).
  2. Each location (Auburn Hills North and South) will have an official weigh-in scale. Weigh-in is done with shoes off, pockets empty. Clothing is optional, but highly recommended.

    If you cannot weigh in on Friday, please make arrangements with the person in charge of the scale at your facility. In Auburn Hills South, please see Andreas Knueppel. In Auburn Hills North, please see Emmanuel Garcia (A1016).
  3. Weights will be published on a website using an anagram of the participant's name. A participant may select an anagram, or an anagram will be chosen for the participant.
  4. Taunting is allowed, and sometimes encouraged. Complaining about the scale is tolerated, but fruitless. It is not broken.
  5. Cook Rule: There can be a total of 2 missed weeks that will be interpolated. At the third missed weigh-in, the previous week will be used. If 3 or more consecutive weeks are missed, then I will invoke mystical weight loss contest algorithms to make something up.
  6. Bonus points will be given if your starting weight is lower than either your starting or ending weight from the last diet contest, if you lost weight in the last contest. If your weight is lower than the previous starting weight, you will get 25% credit for that weight loss. If it is lower than your final weight, you get an additional 50% credit for being below that weight.

    For those engineers without reading comprehension, this can be summed up in the following formula:

    /* Bonus to be added to ContiScore (Percent_weight_change*200 + Weight_change) */
    if (prev_end_weight > current_weight )
    bonus = (prev_start_weight - prev_end_weight)*0.25 + (prev_end_weight - current_weight)*0.50;
    else if (prev_start_weight > current_weight )
      bonus = (prev_start_weight - current_weight)*0.25;
    else
      bonus = The_Zero_who_ate_too_much;

     If you have not participated in previous contests, no bonus points for you.
  7. Points will be awarded based on weight change and body characteristics, and how linearly you lose the weight. Please check http://mr-eman.myftp.org/~diet/ or the intranet for current point status. Highest point total wins the contest. The formula is roughly (or exactly, depending on your definition):

    ContiScore = (Percent_weight_change*200 + Weight_change) ;
    Score = (ABS(ContiScore)+Bonus) ÷ Linear_Density * ABS(Weight_Slope_Correlation) ;

     (Please note that by using absolute values in the formula, it is possible to get points by gaining weight.)
  8. All participants are invited to the BFLG lunch at the Chinese buffet on Baldwin somewhere after the end of the contest, or if participants have health concerns regarding this location, we can choose a different venue. (Maybe the mall.) The date is tentatively for May 2, 2014.