Week 5 Results
Wednesday, February 18, 2015 at 18:58:21 PM EST
At five weeks, we’re a third of the way through the diet contest. You’ve already lost five pounds at a pound a week, right? Right?
Our leader is still I’ll Earn Chi with a commanding lead, followed by Jolly Anode Ogre and Hide Hen Ha. I’ll Earn Chi has lost 7.2% of his body weight already. Jolly Anode Ogre has lost 5.4%, while Hide Hen Ha has lost 4.7%.
Climbing 13 places is Amok Red Zinger. Tidal Dwarves went up 12 places for his current weight gain. Two others, Chain Ad Lemming and Keg Stamina, went up 10 places.
Dropping 17 places is Odd Mown Bat. The less said about that, the better.
Anchoring the list, like a heavy lead weight dragging the rest of us to the depths of despair into the abyss of failure are Mystic Leech Jar, Larded Swivels, and Sustain Moo. They have nowhere to go but up, unless the earth parts and swallows them up, dragging them even deeper into the hungry maw of that sink hole of no weight change.
I recommend salads for these three.