Week 15 Results
Friday, May 1, 2015 at 10:12:21 AM EST
On this traditional day in May of interpretive dancing around poles (Wikipedia didn’t elaborate on dance type or if the pole was located on Tony Stark’s private jet), I would exhort the dieters of the world to unite! For we have nothing to lose but our weight!
Unfortunately, our diet contest is over and most of us did poorly. At first I thought it was our worst contest ever, but after looking at last year’s results, our result this year was merely terrible compared to our horrific result from last year.
At least this year we had four people (I’ll Earn Chi, Jolly Anode Ogre, Mill At Dell Clench, and Torn Men Rev Clan) who met their goal, and we all lost an average of 5.2 lb. Last year only 2 people met their goal and we lost 3.4 lb.
By my count, at least 10 people bailed from the contest at some point. Sustain Moo takes special honors by bailing after the initial weigh in.
But in spite of all our dieting ineptitude, 6 people lost at least 10 lb: Jolly Anode Ogre (32 lb), Mill at Dell Clench (22 lb), I’ll Earn Chi (17.6 lb), Insert Hacks (17 lb), Thy Error Bites (13 lb), My Shaken Ton (12.2 lb), and Torn Men Rev Clan (10 lb).
If you weren’t able to lose the weight you wanted to, I would encourage you to keep pretending you’re in a diet contest, possibly for the rest of your life. That way you won’t have to pretend to be in a diet contest next year.
Excel has spoken, and this year’s Winner is: Mill At Dell Clench. He beat out First Loser Jolly Anode Ogre on the last day by 0.2 lb. Insert Hacks came in as Second Loser.
Congratulations to Mill At Dell Clench, and to all who actually lost weight this year.
Week 11 Results
Thursday, April 9, 2015 at 4:12:21 PM EST
This is just a quick update. Right now, it’s looking like a 2-BFLG race between Jolly Anode Ogre and Mill At Dell Clench. Mill At Dell Clench is putting a strong finish while I’ll Earn Chi has faded into 3rd place.
Also, there was a recent study that evaluated various diets for long term success. The top two were Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. From the article:
The factors that make Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers so successful are their frequent contact with participants, the structured nature of the programs, and the social support...
Somehow, the BFLGers, with our method of fat shaming and anti-social support, never made the list. Maybe next year.
Diet Hard
I wasn’t sure if people noticed this. (Also, not an action film.) Just a heads up.Week 10 Results
Thursday, March 26, 2015 at 9:55:01 AM EST
We’ve completed 10 weeks of the contest with 5 weeks left. It’s around this time that one-third of the group can’t wait for it to end because they’re hungry and they’re actually trying. Another third has almost lost weight and is thinking that with a little bit of work, they can still win this thing (spoiler alert: no). The last third will read this and think, “Donuts. Definitely donuts.”
Jolly Anode Ogre is still leading, and by a lot over I’ll Earn Chi and Hide Hen Ha. Can the Jolly one keep his lead? Will Chi make his move soon? Is Ha just biding her time? Stay tuned next week at the same fat-time, same fat-channel.
Both Jolly and Chi have hit their goals of 15 lb, and a total of 6 people have lost at least 10 lb. On the other hand, a total of 7 people are heavier than their starting weight. These 7 should really take some time and consider their life choices.
Still, on average, we’ve lost 4.5 lb per person. That’s not bad when a significant portion of dieters are not holding their proverbial weight.
Of course, we can’t forget about the bottom feeders of our list: Mystic Leech Jar, Bread Snorter, and Sustain Moo. I’ll just point out that everyone in life is an example for someone. It’s our choice to decide what kind of example.
Week 8 Results
Tuesday, March 10, 2015 at 10:00:01 PM EST
Mr. Linearity himself, Jolly Anode Ogre, has lengthened his lead over I’ll Earn Chi, who stumbled a little bit this week. Hide Hen Ha remains in 3rd place, but Mill At Dell Clench is closing the gap in 4th place.
At just over half way through the contest, we have lost 152 lb (but gained 21 lb). As a net average, we have all lost 3.8 lb, some more than others. Give yourself a pat in the back for that, or at least to the top 10 in our list, who have actually lost on average 10.9 lb. Well, except for Dang Bro Zen Rho, who is in the top 10 for gaining 4.4 lb.
Of course, let’s not forget the bottom dwellers that make the rest of us feel better about ourselves. This week, that would be Zit Mercer, Bread Snorter, and Sustain Moo.
Week 7 Results
Thursday, March 5, 2015 at 20:33:13 PM EST
In a spirit of utter futility, 16 of the 30 people this week were either over their starting weight or gained from the previous week. That’s over half of us. It’s almost as if dieting is hard or something. And we’re just under half-way through. If you were planning on actually losing weight during this contest, now is always a good time to start.
By how Jolly Anode Ogre stormed to first place, it’s apparently a piece of cake. A piece of layered German chocolate cake with a coconut-pecan topping. Aber bitte mit Sahne. That puts I’ll Earn Chi in second place with Hide Hen Ha still holding on to third.
Three people have lost more then 10 lb: Jolly Anode Ogre (19.6 lb), I’ll Earn Chi (18.4 lb), and Papa Needs Elk Run (10.6 lb). If Papa Needs Elk Run can lose over 10 lb, no one has an excuse why they can’t.
That’s right—I’m talking to the following who have either not lost weight or gained weight: Bread Snorter, Sustain Moo, Team Fool Ambush, Rosy Biker Balm, Nervenarzt K. Sledge, Tidal Dwarves, Meal Urge Maniac, and Chain Ad Lemming.
Week 6 Results
Wednesday, February 25, 2015 at 19:36:23 PM EST
In all nine years of the diet contest, we have never had a week where everyone lost weight from the previous week while staying under his/her starting weight. Fortunately, we’re able to keep that streak alive for another week. Yay, Team.
Still leading this week is I’ll Earn Chi, who manages to stay in first place without the benefit of any bonus points, like Jolly Anode Ogre (second place) and Hide Hen Ha (third place) have.
Jolly Anode Ogre has the best linearity of the contest at -0.998. His very tight regimen of calorie usage has allowed him to lose exactly the same amount of weight between weigh-ins. Such consistency must be admired.
In the mean time, Larded Swivels has perfected the sine wave diet, fluctuating slightly up and down but ultimately stopping at the same starting weight, giving him a linearity of -0.036. At least it’s a generally negative slope.
Eight people—Zit Mercer, Team Fool Ambush, Rosy Biker Balm, Chain Ad Lemming, Nervenarzt K. Sledge, Tidal Dwarves, Meal Urge Maniac, and Dang Bro Zen Rho—all have positive slopes. Dang Bro Zen Rho may have the most positive slope. Ever. At least he’s trying.
Our bottom-of-the-sink-hole dwellers this week are Mystic Leech Jar, Larded Swivels, and Sustain Moo.
Week 5 Results
Wednesday, February 18, 2015 at 18:58:21 PM EST
At five weeks, we’re a third of the way through the diet contest. You’ve already lost five pounds at a pound a week, right? Right?
Our leader is still I’ll Earn Chi with a commanding lead, followed by Jolly Anode Ogre and Hide Hen Ha. I’ll Earn Chi has lost 7.2% of his body weight already. Jolly Anode Ogre has lost 5.4%, while Hide Hen Ha has lost 4.7%.
Climbing 13 places is Amok Red Zinger. Tidal Dwarves went up 12 places for his current weight gain. Two others, Chain Ad Lemming and Keg Stamina, went up 10 places.
Dropping 17 places is Odd Mown Bat. The less said about that, the better.
Anchoring the list, like a heavy lead weight dragging the rest of us to the depths of despair into the abyss of failure are Mystic Leech Jar, Larded Swivels, and Sustain Moo. They have nowhere to go but up, unless the earth parts and swallows them up, dragging them even deeper into the hungry maw of that sink hole of no weight change.
I recommend salads for these three.
Week 4 Results
Tuesday, February 9, 2015 at 17:36:21 PM EST
After four weeks, someone already met his goal. I’ll Earn Chi, leading for the second week in a row, has lost 15.4 lb.
Moving into second place is Jolly Anode Ogre, and sliding into third is Insert Hacks. These top three have lost 15.4 lb, 11.2 lb, and 10 lb respectively.
Not far behind in total pounds lost are Thy Error Bites (8.6 lb) and My Shaken Ton (8.2 lb).
On the other end of the scale are the Losers who have actually gained weight: Dang Bro Zen Rho (3.6 lb), Meal Urge Maniac (2.8 lb), and Chain Ad Lemmings (2.4 lb). To these three: you’re doing it wrong.
Other people who are doing it wrong are Amok Red Zinger, No Crook, and Sustain Moo at the bottom of our list. But I’m sure these six have seen the error of their ways and will Zumba® their way back up the charts.
Sustain Moo, show us a sign of life.
Week 3 Results
Tuesday, February 3, 2015 at 12:26:11 PM EST
Yesterday was Groundhog Day. And like the Bill Murray film of the same name, we are living through another Groundhog Day for the BFLG diet contest. So if we don’t get it right this time, maybe we can try it again next year.
In a bit of a surprise, a newbie, I’ll Earn Chi, has zoomed to the top of the charts. He may not have realized that most contestants pace themselves, if you call “not losing any weight” the same thing as pacing yourself.
This would include seven who are heavier than their starting weight (Dang Bro Zen Rho, Chain Ad Lemming, Larded Swivels, Tidal Dwarves, Nervenarzt K. Sledge, Meal Urge Maniac, and No Crook), and six who gained weight from last week (Bread Snorter, I Robe Jeep, Mill At Dell Clench, Team Fool Ambush, Radon Ebbs, and Torn Men Rev Clan).
So over one-third of us (38%) are “pacing” ourselves.
In second place is Insert Hacks, who climbed an outstanding 29 places. Hide Hen Ha dropped to third place.
Closing off our list at the bottom are Radon Ebbs, Sustain Moo, and Torn Men Rev Clan.
Week 2 Results
Tuesday, January 26, 2015 at 11:26:11 PM EST
As we cruise into our routine of a healthy lifestyle—eating well and exercising—we need to slam on the brakes, turn the car around, and pick up the following 5 BFLGs who are heavier than their starting weights: Chain Ad Lemming, Meal Urge Maniac, Tidal Dwarves, Zit Mercer, and Larded Swivels.
Along the way, we should also pick up the 3 who gained weight from last week: Papa Needs Elk Run, Keg Stamina, and Mystic Leech Jar.
In other words, about 1/3 of the people that weighed in are heavier in some ways. In two simpler words: Diet Contest.
Our three leaders are Hide Hen Ha, Whackier Taro Owl, and I’ll Earn Chi, who have already lost a combined 16.8 lb.
The Losers at the bottom of the list are there because some of them have not weighed-in yet, so I’ll avoid shaming naming them for now.
Week 1 Results
Tuesday, January 20, 2015 at 4:46:10 PM EST
We are starting with 32 BFLG participants this year, with 3 who are joining for the first time. There are 13 of us with a BMI (body mass index) of 30 or higher (not good). There are also 6 of us with BMIs of 25 or lower, which is great. These 6 are presumably in the contest to make fun of inspire the rest of us.
Hide Hen Ha is firmly in the lead with both the most bonus points (for weighing less than a previous contest) and for losing the most weight so far.
Three of us (Chain Ad Lemming, Larded Swivels, and No Crook) have already gained weight, which is significantly fewer than the 7 that started off gaining weight last year.
For those who are new, please note that you can weigh-in ±1 business day (typically Thursday, Monday) if you are out of the office on Friday.
Let’s Get This Thing Started
Monday, January 12, 2015 5:31:31 PM EST
And so it begins, the 9th annual festival of making believe it will be different this year—the 2015 BFLG Diet Contest. Because theoretically, for those of us who have participated in all 9 contests, we should thin enough to be mistaken for supermodels. Well, if we also had youth, grace, and beauty, that is. And if we actually kept all that weight off.
Amazingly, there are a few people that qualified for bonus points this year. As a note, you only get points if you’re less than a previous weigh in. I think some people were hoping that a difference in weight would be good enough since the contest is for weight change, up or down. Sadly, coming in 10 lb heavier will not get you bonus points.
The first official weigh-in is this Friday, January 16. I’m still expecting a few people to add to the 24 currently signed up. After the first weigh-in, I will sent out a reminder to everyone for each Friday in the contest as well as updating all of the charts and tables.
Good luck, and good eatin’.
2015 BFLG - A New Hope (The Trailer)
Tuesday, January 6, 2015 5:04:30 PM EST
In a world... where people eat too much and don't exercise enough, there is one hope—but I have no idea what it is.
Instead, I offer the annual BFLG contest, v8.0, infused with many, many improvements! (Actual number of improvements: none.)
Here are the rules from last year, which are the same for this year: http://anl1emga.auto.contiwan.com/~diet/2015/index2.html
The contest will start Monday, January 12, 2015, and last until... we stop. I will publish the end-date whenever I dust off the Excel sheet.
So, enjoy these last few days of freedom.
EMail me if you have questions, and please feel free to invite colleagues, because what better way to wish someone Happy New Year than to say, “you look like you need to join a diet contest.”
Rules
Tuesday, January 6, 2015 5:04:30 PM EST
- The contest will start on Monday, January 12, 2015 with the initial weigh-in, height, and weight goal. Each Friday morning after that will be a weigh-in day until Friday, April 24, 2015 (15 weeks, Good Friday is April 3rd).
- Each location (Auburn Hills North and South) will have an official weigh-in scale. Weigh-in is done with
shoes off, pockets empty. Clothing is optional, but highly recommended.
If you cannot weigh in on Friday, please make arrangements with the person in charge of the scale at your facility. In Auburn Hills South, please see Andreas Knueppel. In Auburn Hills North, please see Emmanuel Garcia (A1016). - Weights will be published on a website using an anagram of the participant's name. A participant may select an anagram, or an anagram will be chosen for the participant.
- Taunting is allowed, and sometimes encouraged. Complaining about the scale is tolerated, but fruitless. It is not broken.
- Cook Rule: There can be a total of 2 missed weeks that will be interpolated. At the third missed weigh-in, the previous week will be used. If 3 or more consecutive weeks are missed, then I will invoke mystical weight loss contest algorithms to make something up.
- Bonus points will be given if your starting weight is lower than either your starting or ending weight
from the last diet contest, if you lost weight in the last contest. If your weight is lower than the previous
starting weight, you will get 25% credit for that weight loss. If it is lower than your final weight, you get an
additional 50% credit for being below that weight.
For those engineers without reading comprehension, this can be summed up in the following formula:
/* Bonus to be added to ContiScore (Percent_weight_change*200 + Weight_change) */
if (prev_end_weight > current_weight )
bonus = (prev_start_weight - prev_end_weight)*0.25 + (prev_end_weight - current_weight)*0.50;
else if (prev_start_weight > current_weight )
bonus = (prev_start_weight - current_weight)*0.25;
else
bonus = The_Zero_who_ate_too_much;
If you have not participated in previous contests, no bonus points for you. - Points will be awarded based on weight change and body characteristics, and how linearly you lose the weight.
Please check the
intranet
for current point status. Highest point total wins the contest.
The formula is roughly (or exactly, depending on your definition):
ContiScore = (Percent_weight_change*200 + Weight_change) ;
Score = (ABS(ContiScore)+Bonus) ÷ Linear_Density * ABS(Weight_Slope_Correlation) ;
(Please note that by using absolute values in the formula, it is possible to get points by gaining weight.) - All participants are invited to the BFLG lunch at the Chinese buffet on Baldwin somewhere after the end of the contest, or if participants have health concerns regarding this location, we can choose a different venue. (Maybe the mall.) The date is tentatively for May 1, 2015.