Week 15 Results
Friday, May 1, 2015 at 10:12:21 AM EST
On this traditional day in May of interpretive dancing around poles (Wikipedia didn’t elaborate on dance type or if the pole was located on Tony Stark’s private jet), I would exhort the dieters of the world to unite! For we have nothing to lose but our weight!
Unfortunately, our diet contest is over and most of us did poorly. At first I thought it was our worst contest ever, but after looking at last year’s results, our result this year was merely terrible compared to our horrific result from last year.
At least this year we had four people (I’ll Earn Chi, Jolly Anode Ogre, Mill At Dell Clench, and Torn Men Rev Clan) who met their goal, and we all lost an average of 5.2 lb. Last year only 2 people met their goal and we lost 3.4 lb.
By my count, at least 10 people bailed from the contest at some point. Sustain Moo takes special honors by bailing after the initial weigh in.
But in spite of all our dieting ineptitude, 6 people lost at least 10 lb: Jolly Anode Ogre (32 lb), Mill at Dell Clench (22 lb), I’ll Earn Chi (17.6 lb), Insert Hacks (17 lb), Thy Error Bites (13 lb), My Shaken Ton (12.2 lb), and Torn Men Rev Clan (10 lb).
If you weren’t able to lose the weight you wanted to, I would encourage you to keep pretending you’re in a diet contest, possibly for the rest of your life. That way you won’t have to pretend to be in a diet contest next year.
Excel has spoken, and this year’s Winner is: Mill At Dell Clench. He beat out First Loser Jolly Anode Ogre on the last day by 0.2 lb. Insert Hacks came in as Second Loser.
Congratulations to Mill At Dell Clench, and to all who actually lost weight this year.