Week 5 Results
Wednesday, April 13, 2016 at 11:05:27 PM GMT+2
We’re one-third of the way through the contest, and it’s starting to get interesting. Nervenarzt K. Sledge’s once unassailable lead is under assail from A Far Ash Arm. She is treating this contest seriously, with the highest percentage loss at 3.8%. Jolly Anode Ogre is in third place, but Big Human Lap is lurking behind in fourth place, having lost 3.2%. For most normal people, that would be the equivalent of a large appendage of some sort.
There are three people who are above their starting weight: Bag Jar Ooze, Dang Bro Zen Rho, and No Crook.
Because of his recent gain, Dang Bro Zen Rho has dropped 17 places to 21st. Meanwhile, Sneezed Rims In has climbed 11 places to 9th place.
This week’s cellar dwellers, to the surprise of no one, are Dang Bro Zen Rho, No Crook, and Radon Ebbs.
And now that pesky holidays and vacations are over, we can finally concentrate on how to work the algorithm for this contest to our advantage, or giving anonymous donuts to participants ahead of us—anything that moves us up the charts without actually having to eat less and move more (hint: try growing taller during the contest).