Week 15 Results
Tuesday, June 21, 2016 at 9:27:13 PM GMT+2
The Weigh Out
It’s finally over. Our long national nightmare of people trying to eat well and exercise has ended. No more will we have to buck the trend of Americans gaining weight. No more will we have to eat kale, whatever that is. And no more will we have to be slave to a scale every Friday. We are free!
Unless, of course, we want our health to be not sucky when we get really old and fraile. But who can predict so many days into the future like that?
Race to the End
Now we can relax and look forward to the upcoming national election. I’m sure it will be a fun, exciting, close race to decide which candidate we hate more.
It may be just as close as our beloved BFLG race this year. It was decided by only 0.2 lb., which is probably statistically insignificant, less than the tolerance of the scale, or possibly due to a typo I made in Excel. Oh, well.
Although Nervenartz K. Sledge gave it a great run in the end, Big Human Lap is our largest loser.
Big Human Lap lost 21.2 lb (8.1%) without getting taller (or shorter). He exceeded his goal of 15 lb. The only other person to meet or exceed his goal is Radon Ebbs of 3 lb.
“If you want to be successful, set low goals.”
—Radon Ebbs
Nervenartz K. Sledge’s run was based on his strong off-season training, where he lost 37 lb and gained considerable bonus points in the process.
Thy Error Bites also finished well, ending up in third place by losing 13.8 lb (6.4%). He was successful in losing enough weight (down to 201.6 lb) to almost reach his average weight (195.8 lb) over the last 9 years. So close. (Not really.)
Congratulations, losers!
For those that did not lose weight this year, you have our thoughts and prayers. All you have to do next year is just change everything about you.
Dieting won’t lead to a better life, a better life will lead to a better diet.