Week 13 Results

Tuesday, June 7, 2016 at 8:26:23 PM GMT+2

Two Weeks of not Winning

There are only two weigh-ins left. Although this BFLG group is smaller than previous years, the number of people who gave up before the end is higher than normal. Since hard numbers make things sound scientific-cy and stuff, let’s say that 48% percent have given up so far this year vs. 25% in all other years combined.

(To those who know me, you are correct in guessing that I actually counted the numbers through the previous 8 diet contests to get this statistic.)

For the sake of what little dignity you have left, you owe it yourself to weigh in the last two weeks, even if to simply measure your level of failure. Sure, you couldn’t even lose a few pounds over a period of 13 weeks, and that there’s no way you can hold your head high because you haven’t accomplished anything, but at least weigh in so I can track the poor state of your health over the years.

It’s the least you can do. Almost literally. (It just beats out “breathing.”)

Last Week Today

In a surprising twist, A Far Ash Arm has leapfrogged over both Nervenartz K. Sledge and Big Human Lap to take the lead. This has the makings of a close battle to the end.

It’s as if A Far Ash Arm had sailed across the waters in wooden horses while breathing fire to overcome Nervenartz K. Sledge, who looked like he was dead in the water back in week 8, but miracously came back two weeks ago to challenge for the lead while surprising Big Human Lap, who was content to sit on his lead while creating an actual big human lap. You couldn't write a better script for a weekly one-hour tv show on cable.

As a point of reference, here are some statistics from winners of previous years.

Avg Score: 15.1
Avg Loss: 23.4 lb
Avg % loss: 11%

As for the rest of us, we are on track to have the second smallest average weight loss of around 4 lb, just above the worst ever 3.4 lb average loss from 2013, and well below the average of 5.9 lb.

In an effort to improve our statistics in the last two weeks, I recommend trying the following:

I don’t know if any of this will help, I just like to see if people do stuff that I tell them.