Week 10

Thursday, March 23, 2017 at 8:26:51 PM GMT+1

We are two-thirds of the way through the contest. It’s pretty obvious by now who is trying, and who is dying (just kidding—we’re all dying! Just some faster than others.)

For the second week in a row we have a new leader—Jack Fry Revs Fee, climbing four places this week. In a completely unrelated coincidence, he has also lost the most weight, both in percentage (5.4%) and pounds (12.6 lb).

In second place is Sneezed Rims In followed by Cher Jonc En in third.

Dropping four places down to sixth is Thy Error Bites.

Our perennial bottom losers are Keg Stamina, Jolly Anode Ogre, and I Robe Jeep.

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I know many of you would love to do this contest year round, but there are only five weeks left to go. To help maximize our last few weeks of misery, I offer the secrets employed by past winners.

  1. Eat less
  2. Exercise more

Yes, that’s a lot of effort for some. For those older than 35 years old, there’s an easier way—muscle decay. We lose an average of 3-5% of muscle mass every decade if no active measures are taken to prevent this loss. Granted, this is a slow way to lose weight, but some of us are apparently not that motivated anyway.

Now back to our two-step plan. Obviously, the devil is in the details. So this is how the devil would go about doing this.

Over time, our bodies adapt to these conditions, reaching an equilibrium. The same happens when we exercise—we get in better shape and become more efficient, so the exercise has less effect on our bodies. That’s when we hit a plateau—we stop losing weight.

My theory is that this is temporary, but I haven’t been able to prove it because the experiment I want to run on the BFLGs is unethical  illegal  against the Geneva convention takes too long.

If you’ve hit a plateau but still want to lose weight, then you’ll have to continue your dieting efforts or increase your exercising to convince your body that you’re not done yet.

As always, good lunch, and may the bagels be ever in your flavor.