Week 15

Thursday, May 4, 2017 at 10:58:19 PM GMT+2

Well, that’s over.

Congratulations to Jack Fry Revs Fee, our 2017 Big Loser Winner, losing 16.6 lb., and the only one to hit his target weight.

Sneezed Rims In came in second, losing 8.6 lb. Cher Jonc En was third, losing 6 lb.

Papa Need Elk Run lost the second most amount of weight at 9.8 lb. Stop Think Research lost 8 lb, and No Crook lost 7.8 lb.

To round off people that actually seemed like they were trying, Mill At Dell Clench lost 6.5 lb, and Fatty McButterpants lost 6 lb.

All of the people listed above were above the average with respect to the final score.

The rest of us are terrible, horrible people.

And the worst are those few who can’t follow through with things in life, leaving behind a trail of failure, broken dreams, and boxes of Tim Horton donuts (and at least 3 consecutive weeks of no weigh-ins to finish the contest).

Please think about your infinite shame as you prepare for next year’s contest. And by prepare, I mean gain more weight.

Also, I Robe Jeep came in last, not me.

Week 14

Thursday, April 20, 2017 at 7:24:17 AM GMT+2

As we head into our last week, we have one person who reached his goal, and two people who gained weight in a diet contest.

And the rest, like at final exam week at school, are cramming—or un-cramming, as the case may be—for the final weigh-in. You can also try adding negative mass if you don’t mind getting frosty.

Please note that this contest will not be graded on a curve.

Jack Fry Revs Fee is still our leader, but dropped slightly this week, and is within striking distance from Sneezed Rims In. Cher Jonc En is lurking in third place, waiting for either of the two leaders to stumble or to order a Hungry Howies pizza with the crazy bread.

Jack Fry Revs Fee is currently the only one to his his target weight.

The biggest jump in position this week is 4 places for No Crook. I’m too lazy to check, but this could be his highest placement ever. Or at least this year.

Down at the bottom of the pile are Radon Ebbs, I Robe Jeep, and Meal Urge Maniac.

Meal Urge Maniac, who has gained weight after 14 weeks, is also on track to get the lowest non-zero score ever at 0.006.

I don’t really know if that’s true, but let’s not go stomping people’s dream right away.

Finally, for those who like cooking shows, Australian accents, and many words not appropriate for the work place, here is The Katering Show. It is not for everybody. Or maybe even for anybody. I would suggest headphones.

Week 13

Friday, April 7, 2017 at 9:45:46 PM GMT+2

No update this week as I am on vacation trying to ignore by project as it burns red.

Week 12

Friday, April 7, 2017 at 9:15:54 PM GMT+2

These updates have a real problem—a distinct lack of memes. Game of Thrones hasn’t started (they seem to be advocating long strolls this season); I don’t watch The Walking Dead; Breaking Bad is old news. Having farcical political comments just invites Russian hackery where they add 2 lbs to your starting weight (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it). So I’m stuck with lame jokes.

You may notice that some weights on the table are in red. This means that the BFLG has exceeded his initial weigh in. Not coincidentally, this is also the status of that person’s project at work, as evidenced by Meal Urge Maniac. The only other person who is currently in red is Keg Stamina, who has been more elusive than Big Foot or kids who eat vegetables.

Jack Fry Revs Fee is starting to run away with the race. But in a diet contest, a lead can be as tenuous as the sushi at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet. Sneezed Rims In is still in second, followed in third by Cher Jonc En.

The lead is even bigger when looking at percentage fat loss. Jack Fry Revs Fee is at 8.4%, while the next closest, Sneezed Rims In, is at 4.1%. The overall average is 2.4%. Sad.

No Crook has left the cellar dwellers for this week. It’s probably temporarily. In his place is Odd Bat Mown. The other two regulars, I Robe Jeep and Meal Urge Maniac, round out the bottom.

Week 11

Thursday, March 30, 2017 at 10:24:27 PM GMT+2

We’re just a few weeks away from the end of the contest, when we’ll all be thin and fabulous. Let’s see how we’re doing collectively.

Our average weight went from 206.7 to 202.1, meaning we all lost 4.6 lb. Good job everyone! But if I look at BFLGs with a goal of losing at least 10 lb, and has recently weighed in, there is only one person on target—Jack Fry Revs Fee. In total, we’ve lost 101 lb, but gained 2.6 lb. That seems to be pretty good.

When compared to other years, shockingly, we are actually doing pretty well this year. After 10 weeks, there are only two years when we’ve lost more weight, and one about the same. But we still have 4 weeks to completely mess that up.

As we enter the home stretch, it’s become a two-BFLG race with Jack Fry Revs Fee in the lead and Sneezed Rims In close behind. A distant third is Cher Jonc En.

As for the bottom dwellers, if I discount those who only weigh-in once *cough* Keg Stamina *cough* Jolly Anode Ogre *cough*, then the real losers are No Crook, Meal Urge Maniac, and I Robe Jeep.

Also, I should really get that nasty cough looked at.

Week 10

Thursday, March 23, 2017 at 8:26:51 PM GMT+1

We are two-thirds of the way through the contest. It’s pretty obvious by now who is trying, and who is dying (just kidding—we’re all dying! Just some faster than others.)

For the second week in a row we have a new leader—Jack Fry Revs Fee, climbing four places this week. In a completely unrelated coincidence, he has also lost the most weight, both in percentage (5.4%) and pounds (12.6 lb).

In second place is Sneezed Rims In followed by Cher Jonc En in third.

Dropping four places down to sixth is Thy Error Bites.

Our perennial bottom losers are Keg Stamina, Jolly Anode Ogre, and I Robe Jeep.

Get Someone To Read Useless Stuff on the Internet with this One Weird Trick!

I know many of you would love to do this contest year round, but there are only five weeks left to go. To help maximize our last few weeks of misery, I offer the secrets employed by past winners.

  1. Eat less
  2. Exercise more

Yes, that’s a lot of effort for some. For those older than 35 years old, there’s an easier way—muscle decay. We lose an average of 3-5% of muscle mass every decade if no active measures are taken to prevent this loss. Granted, this is a slow way to lose weight, but some of us are apparently not that motivated anyway.

Now back to our two-step plan. Obviously, the devil is in the details. So this is how the devil would go about doing this.

Over time, our bodies adapt to these conditions, reaching an equilibrium. The same happens when we exercise—we get in better shape and become more efficient, so the exercise has less effect on our bodies. That’s when we hit a plateau—we stop losing weight.

My theory is that this is temporary, but I haven’t been able to prove it because the experiment I want to run on the BFLGs is unethical  illegal  against the Geneva convention takes too long.

If you’ve hit a plateau but still want to lose weight, then you’ll have to continue your dieting efforts or increase your exercising to convince your body that you’re not done yet.

As always, good lunch, and may the bagels be ever in your flavor.

Week 9

Wednesday, March 15, 2017 at 9:30:48 PM GMT+1

I hope we BFLGs did not over indulge during Pi Day (3-14) last Tuesday. I assume here in Europe, Pi Day falls approximately around 22/7.

We have a new leader this week: Sneezed Rims In, who is our first ever winner. Will he be able to keep his lead and repeat his 2007 win? Can Thy Error Bites, who weighed in the same weight as Sneezed Rims In this week, be able to pass him for his first win? And can Cher Jonc En, the 2014 winner, finish strong for his second win?

Tune in next week at the same BFLG time, same BFLG website.

The following BFLGs have not weighed in for some time. If you sit near them, please check to see if their gaunt bodies have not fainted in their cubicles after exercising and dieting so intensively. Or they may be in a calorie-deprived stupor, wandering around in search of bagels or donuts. Use extreme caution when approaching, especially if you have recently rubbed butter all over your entire body (hey—I don’t judge).

Nervenarzt K. Sledge
Carpals Solo
Big Human Lap
Team Fool Ambush
Odd Bat Mown
Keg Stamina
Jolly Anode Ogre

At the bottom of our list for 3 of the last 4 weeks are Keg Stamina, Jolly Anode Ogre, and I Robe Jeep. This is not shocking for Keg Stamina and Jolly Anode Ogre, who are apparently scale-shy. But I Robe Jeep, who is in last place, also at 22.4 has the lowest BMI of our entire group.

Week 8

Tuesday, March 7, 2017 at 11:10:49 PM GMT+1

And on the 8th week, some of the BFLGs seem to be giving up. There are 8 people who haven’t weighed in for some time: Thy Error Bites, Nervenarzt K. Sledge, Carpals Solo, Big Human Lap, Team Fool Ambush, Larded Swivels, Odd Bat Mown, Keg Stamina, and Jolly Anode Ogre.

And even though they haven’t been weighing in, Thy Error Bites and Nervenarzt K. Sledge are first and second, respectively, thanks to the mysteries of the Algorithm. Cher Jonc En remains in third place.

We’re down to only three BFLGs who are still on track of their goal to lose at least 1 lb/wk: Thy Error Bites, Jack Fry Revs Fee, and Stop Think Research.

The three who are the least on track to meet their goals are I Robe Jeep, No Crook, and Jolly Anode Ogre, and coincidentally are dead last. In an alternate universe where real numbers may not matter, they would still be dead last.

The changes in position this week have been minor. The highest gain of three places, from 9th to 12th place, is Mill at Dell Clench. The biggest pączki-related drop is No Crook, going from 15th to 19th place.

At least we’re now passed the half-way point of the contest. Only seven more weeks to go.

Week 6

Thursday, February 23, 2017 at 10:50:24 PM GMT+1

Somehow Nervenarzt K. Sledge is still in first place. He appears to be maintaining his lead by not weighing in. Following closely behind is Thy Error Bites, with Cher Jonc En in third place.

Only three BFLGs gained weight from the previous week: Fatty McButterpants (aka Bra Maze Milkmen), Papa Needs Elk Run, and Mill at Dell Clench.

Another “only” is that only four BFLGs are on track to lose about 1lb/week: Nervenartz K. Sledge, Thy Error Bites, Carpals Solo, Jack Fry Revs Fee.

Slowly settling to the bottom, like the muck you walk on at the bottom of a small Michigan lake, are Keg Stamina, Jolly Anode Ogre, and I Robe Jeep. But in this case, I won’t give much grief to I Robe Jeep, who has the lowest BMI at 22.4.

The other low BMIs are Nervenartz K. Sledge (23.3) and Cher Jonc En (24.2)

The highest BMIs are Team Fool Ambush (34.9), Jolly Anode Ogre (33.5), and Big Human Lap.

WTH Is BMI?

The Body Mass Index (BMI) is used to characterize our bodies. The calculation is the body mass (kg) divided by the square of the height (m²). It was orginally called the Quetelet Index in 1832, after Adolphe Quetelet, a mathematician from Belgium[1]. Quetelet was trying to characterize the “normal” man and found that the weight/height relationship didn’t fit in a standard Gaussian distribution. After some studies, he concluded that other than after birth, puberty, and diet contests, the weight increases as a square of the height and came up with this index.

It is not a direct measure of fat. A young, muscular Arnold Schwarzenegger with a high BMI is very different from an old, sagging Arnold with the same BMI, for example.

I include it in our table simply as a relative measure of our physique. I only highlight really big numbers in scarlet purely for the mathematical reason that it is a really big number (>35), and not as the equivalent of walking through town with a nun yelling, “Shame! Shame!” behind you.

It is also not used by the all-knowing, all-powerful Algorithm to calculate our scores.

What Is Normal?

In an effort for the insurance industry to charge us more money, it came up with the idea that people above the “ideal” weight should be charged more money because they tended to die sooner. Something about statistics and lies.

Math and stuff were used and in 1972[2], someone decided that Quetelet’s index, re-dubbed body mass index (BMI), seemed to fit well.

The current accepted values as determined by the World Health Organization (WHO) are:

18.5 < BMI ≤ 25.0 Normal
25.0 < BMI ≤ 30.0 Overweight
30.0 < BMI Obese

These have changed in the past, such as in 1998 when the upper range of Normal was changed from 27.5 to 25.0 by the National Institute of Health. This decision made 30 million normal Americans “fat” overnight.

Is It Flawed?

The BMI is a model, and like many models, it may not reflect reality (see: runway models, but probably not at work).

It is not meant for individual measurement, since it does not take variables like age or gender into the equation. It is best used for a general population of people.

Correlation is not causation, but many studies show a correlation between BMI and mortality[3].

Should I Care?

Sure, why not.

BMI is simply an indicator that’s a little fancier than pure weight. Including a second physical value (height) give BMI intrinsically more information. However, use it as a relative measure of change for yourself, and not as an absolute guide.

Unless they are delusional, most people have sense of whether or not they are “healthy” anyway. Just remember, don’t sue me, as I only play an actuary on the internet. In real life, I pretend to be a health advocate.

References

[1] Adolphe Quetelet (1796–1874)—the average man and indices of obesity↩

[2] Beyond BMI↩

[3] An interesting critique of BMI from a paper that now requires a subscription to read.

Week 5

Thursday, February 16, 2017 at 8:22:45 PM GMT+1

We’ve made it through one-third of the diet contest. This is about the point it starts getting harder, when the “buffer” from all the water you drank at the initial weigh-in has ran out. If you are plateauing, you may want to consider eating less and exercising more.

Nervenarzt K. Sledge is still in the lead. He has the highest percentage of weight loss at 4.1%. In second place is Mr. Consistency, Cher Jonc En. His correlation is -0.996. Thy Error Bites has dropped to third place.

The correlation value is a measure of how linear you are in losing weight. The closer to -1.0 (or +1.0), the better. After Cher Jonc En is Fatty McButterpants (aka Zebra Ma Milkmen) at -0.990, and Thy Error Bites at -0.979.

This is also a direct multiplier to your score, so a low number like I Robe Jeep’s -0.207 will not be helpful.

Which leads us to the current BFLGs at the bottom of the list: Jolly Anode Ogre, Meal Urge Maniac, and I Robe Jeep.

Big Human Lap has climbed 8 places to 7th place, while I Robe Jeep dropped 8 places to whatever that position is called when no one is worse than you are.

Finally, the four BFLGs who gained weight from last week are: Jack Fry Revs Fee, Wolfram Want Hefty, Stop Think Research, and Odd Bat Mown. Let’s see if this trend continutes next week.

Week 4

Tuesday, February 7, 2017 at 7:40:52 PM GMT+1

Four weeks in and it seems that some people are taking this seriously. Just like every year.

Nervenartz K. Sledge is still leading, followed by Thy Error Bites and Carpals Solo. The biggest jump in position is Stop Think Research, who climbed 9 places this week. Meanwhile, both Big Human Lap and Sneezed Rims In dropped 4 places.

Tied for the most weight loss so far are Jack Fry Revs Free (3.2%) and Papa Needs Elk Run (2.9%) at 7.4 lb. On average, we have lost 3.471 lb so far.

Down at the bottom of our BFLG pile are Radon Ebbs, Meal Urge Maniac, and No Crook. I guess after 11 years of diet contests, they are still trying to get the hang of how to do this.

Links of the Week

Y-o-Y Charts

In an effort to be as creepy as Google or Amazon, I’ve been collecting BFLG weight data over the years.

If you’ve been in one of our contests in the past, I have your weight data. You can see your weight over the years, and where it is trending.

My intent is not to shame you by showing your weight graphically, because many of you should already be ashamed. But here are some examples of what this data can show.

Consider the graph below. The minimum and maximum weight for this person has varied significantly over the years. This person could be an example of someone who stress eats whenever he takes a stressful job. The curves on the left give a clear indication that he probably surfs the web with his MacBook Pro on the couch while eating German chocolates when he knows he should be working out. Excel is amazing.

Meal Urge Maniac

Note that the curves on the left graph tend to be flat, while the curve on the right tend to be linearly increasing. I can make no obvious conclusion here.

Bad Beef

This is the work of a professional diet contestant. The curves on the left are very tight, and have a strong downward tendency. The yearly graph hovers around his average. It's as if this person likes to stay in shape, but we all know it’s all about the BFLG diet contest.

Cher Jonc En

Week 3

Tuesday, January 31, 2017 at 8:10:21 PM GMT+1

In a surprising twist, Nervenartz K. Sledge has shot to first place without weighing in this week. This is due to the drop by Jack Fry Revs Free to third place. Carpals Solo is now in second place.

Most people did a good job of actually losing weight. The exceptions are Radon Ebbs, who gained slightly from last week, and No Crook, who is above his starting weight.

After three weeks the award for The Most Linear BFLG goes to Cher Jonc En with a near-perfect linearity of -0.998. (Larded Swivels also has a -0.998, but only after two weeks.)

The worst linearity is Meal Urge Maniac who, not coincidentally, is in last place. Joining him at the very bottom of the heap are Stop Think Research and No Crook.

We have now all lost an average of 2.73 lb, and there is no longer anyone with a BMI above 35.

It’s almost as if people are actually trying this year. Well, except for No Crook.

Link of the Week

I’m presenting this link without comment.

Okay—one comment:

8. Reduce stress

Comment: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

A Celebrity Nutritionist Explains How to Stop Craving Sugar for Good

Week 2

Wednesday, January 25, 2017 at 7:27:52 PM GMT+1

After only two weeks of extreme dieting, we’ve collectively lost 36.2 lb! And gained 2 lb, thanks to Keg Stamina and Meal Urge Maniac.

Taking a big early lead is Jack Fry Revs, followed by Papa Needs Elk Run and Thy Error Bites.

Ignoring the people who have only weighed in once, we have our bottom losers: Radon Ebbs, No Crook, and Meal Urge Maniac. Well, at least two of those three have lost weight.

I would also like to extend a jelly doughnut to Stop Think Research. Don’t be afraid of the scale. The scale is your friend. It won’t laugh at you. Much. Go ahead and weigh-in.

I haven’t looked back at the data, but to me there seems to be a greater percentage of BFLGs with a BMI under 30. I’ll review the Historical Records this weekend to see for sure.

Anyway, good work everyone except for Keg Stamina and Meal Urge Maniac. Stay Hungry.

(To those new to the contest, clicking on your name from the big table will show a graph of your current results.)

Week 1

Sunday, January 15, 2017 at 7:33:04 PM GMT+1

We have a couple of new BFLGers this year: Wolfram Want Hefty and Fatty McButterpants (aka, Maim Mr. Ken Blaze). Let’s show them our support and give the impression that this diet contest will change their lives!

To rest of us have been here before and know the sad, non-fake truth about this contest, welcome back! Especially those no longer at Conti, but are still joining.

Based on history, there will be three groups of BFLGers.

The first group will actually try to lose weight and will feel good about themselves at the end of the contest.

The second group will give the old college try, but these are the same that gained the freshman 15 lbs in college and that Friday bagel tastes so much better smeared in honey walnut cream cheese.

The last group is losing wrong. Just wrong. Very wrong.

And then there’s one guy that will give up all hope and live life large and alone. Most wait a couple of weeks before giving up the contest, but those more ambitious with their apathy will give up right away. (You know how you are.)

Last year, 10 out of 23 gave up before the end of the diet contest.

So the hard question we have to ask ourselves is which group will we be in? And are Tim Horton donuts valid replacements for bagels on bagel day?

Results

Taking the early lead is Jack Fry Revs Fee, followed by I Robe Jeep and Meal Urge Maniac. It should be noted here that both Meal Urge Maniac and Sneezed Rims In have actually gained weight.

As not everybody has given me their weight for the first week, we will wait another week before shaming pointing out those at the bottom of the list.

Week 0: Let’s Get This Party Started

Wednesday, January 11, 2017 at 10:30:33 PM GMT+1

(It’s amazing how repetitive I get as I get older. I guess I’ve run out of material.)

Now that 2016 is behind us, we can finally look forward to a slimmer, more positive 2017. This is the year we eat healthier, exercise regularly, and sleep enough.

Unless there’s something good on Netflix, of course, along with a bowl of hot chili. Netflix and chili—nothing beats it on a long winter’s night.

And we all know winter is coming.

Uh... yeah, weight loss.

Last year I posted studies from Cornell University and one from University of Pittsburg which show that monitoring your weight regularly helps you to be more confident in managing your weight loss and in keeping it off.

So just by joining the BFLG contest, you’re already on your way to a healthier you.

Let’s take at look at us now. Because this is all about us. There are 17 of us with an average weight of 209.5 lb. That makes Fatty McButterpants (aka, Mr. Mamba-Like Zen) both Mr. Median and Mr. Average at 207 lb. Well, if you look at Sneezed Rims In, he also looks pretty average, too, at 211.6 lb.

We already have two people with BMI’s under 25—I Robe Jeep and Cher Jonc En—because they like to gloat over the rest of us.

For those with BMIs over 30, let me break out my list:

Congratulations?

Finally, there are BFLGers among us that start off with bonus points, meaning they lost weight in the last contest and actually kept some of it off.

Sneezed Rims In is already winning by virtue of his bonus points.

Also, as a reminder, please try to weigh in at least twice in the 15 weeks *cough*Keg Stamina*cough*.

Good luck troughers, and may the odd be ever in your favor.

BFLG Start

Rules

Monday, January 9, 2017 17:07:15 PM GMT+1

  1. The contest will start on Monday, January 9, 2017 with the initial weigh-in, height, and weight goal. Each Friday morning after that will be a weigh-in day until Friday, April 21, 2017 (15 weeks). For Good Friday, the weigh in will be either the Thursday before, or the Monday after.
  2. Each location (Auburn Hills North and South) will have an official weigh-in scale. Weigh-in is done with shoes off, pockets empty. Clothing is optional, but highly recommended.

    If you cannot weigh in on Friday, please make arrangements with the person in charge of the scale at your facility. In Auburn Hills North, please see Thy Error Bites (A2035).
  3. Weights will be published on a website using an anagram of the participant's name. A participant may select an anagram, or an anagram will be chosen for the participant.
  4. Taunting is allowed, and sometimes encouraged. Complaining about the scale is tolerated, but fruitless. It is not broken.
  5. Cook Rule: There can be a total of 2 missed weeks that will be interpolated. At the third missed weigh-in, the previous week will be used. If 3 or more consecutive weeks are missed, then I will invoke mystical weight loss contest algorithms to make something up.
  6. Bonus points will be given if your starting weight is lower than either your starting or ending weight from the last diet contest, if you lost weight in the last contest. If your weight is lower than the previous starting weight, you will get 25% credit for that weight loss. If it is lower than your final weight, you get an additional 50% credit for being below that weight.

    For those engineers without reading comprehension, this can be summed up in the following formula:

    /* Bonus to be added to ContiScore (Percent_weight_change*200 + Weight_change) */
    if (prev_end_weight > current_weight )
    bonus = (prev_start_weight - prev_end_weight)*0.25 + (prev_end_weight - current_weight)*0.50;
    else if (prev_start_weight > current_weight )
      bonus = (prev_start_weight - current_weight)*0.25;
    else
      bonus = The_Zero_who_ate_too_much;

     If you have not participated in previous contests, no bonus points for you.
  7. Points will be awarded based on weight change and body characteristics, and how linearly you lose the weight. Highest point total wins the contest. The formula is roughly (or exactly, depending on your definition):

    ContiScore = (Percent_weight_change*200 + Weight_change) ;
    Score = (ABS(ContiScore)+Bonus) ÷ Linear_Density * ABS(Weight_Slope_Correlation) ;

     (Please note that by using absolute values in the formula, it is possible to get points by gaining weight.)